Post by Heather Glass on Oct 12, 2020 5:28:29 GMT -7
"It's six o'clock, this is WGCR, I'm VerMillion, and it's time for the news!" she announced, pausing for the little start-of-the-show jingle, "As always, the boring stuff first: If you're trying to make your way through Midtown, don't, but if you have to then try to avoid Anderson Avenue because everyone and their dog is there. Also to be avoided is Vincefinkel Bridge, where a small accident has caused a huge delay, and if you're on the Trigate Bridge may God have mercy on your soul. The tunnels, on the other hand, look like a good bet today. We're currently 'enjoying' temperatures in the mid-50s, but though the rain that came in this afternoon will continue to be a problem for the next two days we'll warm up to the mid-60s tomorrow.
"Now that I'm done boring you to death, the news for today is, you guessed it, the staggering lack of data security available in modern times. Freshly exposed by someone calling himself 'the Riddler', but we'll get to that part in a second.
"First, let's talk about the fallout. Since the incident this morning it's been near absolute chaos. No, no rioting in the streets, but even a quick perusal of Twitter provides glimpses of the scope of the whole debacle. Reputations, big and small, ruined. Relationships ending, resignations as far as the eye can see. Mayor Klass has called for all those holding government positions to hold off on quitting immediately over whatever scandal they're facing so that the massive turnover can be handled in a more organized fashion, avoiding the mess that would happen if everyone quit at once - even as his own re-election campaign is now in tatters. Not that his opponent fared any better - there's already rumors that both parties may quickly find different candidates before it's too late.
"It's a glorious mess, and well-deserved - I don't know about you, but I'm not shedding any tears about this general shake-up. Not just of the government, but the all the self-important business big-wigs and so-called elites who strut around thinking that they're better than everyone. If you don't want to be exposed, then don't have something to hide, I say.
"For anyone curious about how I personally fared in this - fear not! Being the single young woman that I am, why should I care if anyone knows that I had a one night stand? I mean, maybe the guy has a girlfriend - I wouldn't know - but surprise, I have a sex life, no big deal. Though since I definitely didn't approve of having a sex tape made, let alone released, you can bet I'll sue if given the opportunity - I hear you can make good money from that.
"Of course, they need to catch the guy first. While everyone was freaking out about their impending divorce, there was an incident in the financial district. The police are reporting one death, one surviving victim of this same Riddler person. And they're asking for any tips that could lead to the arrest of the man, who they have identified as Edward Nashton - an employee of Wayne Enterprises, also using the name Edward Nygma, spelled with a 'y'. Probably armed and dangerous, yadda yadda, there's a reward, yadda yadda. The police have been handing out a photo - not bad for a geek.
"But the main question on my mind: Where was Batman? At Wayne Tower, according to the witnesses - which was probably where the Riddler was doing all the hacking or whatever. The police haven't confirmed that, but it's an easy guess because the man works there and one would hope that Batman wasn't completely lost. Still, good job stopping the release of everyone's private information, Batman. And the murder in the financial district. And also catching the bad guy - it's great to know that we can count on you. And also the GCPD - that's some fine work keeping everyone safe. Well done, all of you!
"So how has all of this affected you? If you're listening to the podcast, that's too bad because you can't tell me. But if you're listening live, give me a call and let me know what you think."
"Now that I'm done boring you to death, the news for today is, you guessed it, the staggering lack of data security available in modern times. Freshly exposed by someone calling himself 'the Riddler', but we'll get to that part in a second.
"First, let's talk about the fallout. Since the incident this morning it's been near absolute chaos. No, no rioting in the streets, but even a quick perusal of Twitter provides glimpses of the scope of the whole debacle. Reputations, big and small, ruined. Relationships ending, resignations as far as the eye can see. Mayor Klass has called for all those holding government positions to hold off on quitting immediately over whatever scandal they're facing so that the massive turnover can be handled in a more organized fashion, avoiding the mess that would happen if everyone quit at once - even as his own re-election campaign is now in tatters. Not that his opponent fared any better - there's already rumors that both parties may quickly find different candidates before it's too late.
"It's a glorious mess, and well-deserved - I don't know about you, but I'm not shedding any tears about this general shake-up. Not just of the government, but the all the self-important business big-wigs and so-called elites who strut around thinking that they're better than everyone. If you don't want to be exposed, then don't have something to hide, I say.
"For anyone curious about how I personally fared in this - fear not! Being the single young woman that I am, why should I care if anyone knows that I had a one night stand? I mean, maybe the guy has a girlfriend - I wouldn't know - but surprise, I have a sex life, no big deal. Though since I definitely didn't approve of having a sex tape made, let alone released, you can bet I'll sue if given the opportunity - I hear you can make good money from that.
"Of course, they need to catch the guy first. While everyone was freaking out about their impending divorce, there was an incident in the financial district. The police are reporting one death, one surviving victim of this same Riddler person. And they're asking for any tips that could lead to the arrest of the man, who they have identified as Edward Nashton - an employee of Wayne Enterprises, also using the name Edward Nygma, spelled with a 'y'. Probably armed and dangerous, yadda yadda, there's a reward, yadda yadda. The police have been handing out a photo - not bad for a geek.
"But the main question on my mind: Where was Batman? At Wayne Tower, according to the witnesses - which was probably where the Riddler was doing all the hacking or whatever. The police haven't confirmed that, but it's an easy guess because the man works there and one would hope that Batman wasn't completely lost. Still, good job stopping the release of everyone's private information, Batman. And the murder in the financial district. And also catching the bad guy - it's great to know that we can count on you. And also the GCPD - that's some fine work keeping everyone safe. Well done, all of you!
"So how has all of this affected you? If you're listening to the podcast, that's too bad because you can't tell me. But if you're listening live, give me a call and let me know what you think."