The Ghosts That Haunt Us [Gordon/Jonathan] [Flashback]

[Jonathan Crane]

This must have been what they called vertigo. He’d heard it on the old black and white television in the living room before. The man that stumbled around on the tv set was just as hazy in his mind as the way the world looked now. He felt queasy to his stomach and had to hold his eyes at a squint. Every single part of him was exhausted. Although he’d been moving for hours, there were very few parts of his body he could feel anymore.

The boy looked up as he felt something cold fall on his head. The water soaked through his dirty hair and down onto his face before the rest of the water came. A downpour had settled over the city he had walked into, whatever it was. From head to toe the boy was covered in the remnants of sewage and dirt. The tatter and tear of his clothing painted a picture of a long and tiring journey. Holes littered his shirt and pants, barely holding together anymore. Soaked to the bone he had begun to shiver on the side of the street corner.

It was cold, that’s why he was shaking, but he couldn’t feel it. It was the oddest sensation of a vibration through his bones. How had he gotten here? The last thing he remembered was collapsing in the sewer and the white smoke. He remembered a voice that spoke to him, gently and softly. Somehow he had ended up here. The walk had just been a blurr and he was too tired to try and make sense of it all.

A single step had been taken to cross the street only for his knees to buckle and collapse from underneath him again. An echo rang in his ears of someone hollering over the traffic. Within a few moments sirens rang in his ears. Another shadow came into his vision as he rested on his knees, the world still tilting to and fro.

Slowly, the man's outline began to form throughout the blurr and the wash of rain. Tall, young, wearing a uniform. A police officer. He must have caught people's attention somehow. The last thing he wanted to do, but he was too tired to fight what was happening. Perhaps they already knew and they were here to take him to prison. All of his hard work would have been for nothing. Why else would the police be here in the middle of the street, raising such a fuss over him? Why would someone have called the police unless they knew? They wouldn't. He was just a boy in the middle of the street.

Glossed over ice from the boys gaze looked up at the man. He needed to run, but there was no strength left in his bones.

[James Gordon]

"Any units in the area there is a 10-67 in progress at Birch and 1st street code two high priority, identify." The crackle of dispatch came to life in the squad car of officers James Gordon and Kevin Wagner.  "24-A, go ahead dispatch." The driver of the squad unit, Kevin Wagner picked up the radio biscuit and responded while shooting a glance over to his partner. "24-A, there's a 10-67 in progress with a possible 10-44. It's a child with clear wounds." Kevin firmly gripped the radio biscuit before flipping on the siren and speeding up. "Affirmative dispatch, 24-A is responding." Officer Gordon sighed for a moment before reaching for the luke-warm cup of coffee that was in the cupholder. "A kid? This city never really changes does it?" Officer Wagner stifled a laugh, still maintaining his focus on the road. "You don't know the half of it, partner."  Gordon sipped the coffee from the styrofoam cup before placing it back in its holder. The rest of the short trip to the area of the incident, he glanced at his watch a few times while wondering about who could possibly hurt a kid? 

A mere four minutes passed before Officer Wagner and Officer Gordon arrived on the scene, both of them exited the car and took a step forward. Wagner leaned grasped his radio on his chest. "Dispatch, 24-A is on scene." Gordon took two steps forward, he saw a young boy on the wet pavement with a small crowd around him. "Everyone please step away." Jim continued his approach, and Wagner was close behind him. "Who reported this?" Wagner asked, and an older woman would reply to him. "I'll take her statement, Jim... can you check on the kid?" Gordon nodded silently in approval before continuing his approach. The kid's clothing was barely holding together and he was dirty, he also stunk. "What happened to you kid?" Jim muttered underneath his breath. Once he was close enough he took a knee. He could see the wounds on the kid just by glancing at him, his eyes were glazed over. It appeared this kid had already given up on life, or that he never had a chance to live a life. 

"Dispatch, this is Officer Gordon I need a Bus on the intersection between Birch and 1st street." His radio crackled again with acknowledgment of his request. Jim would offer his arm for support. "Come on kid, let's get you up." Right at that moment, another patrol car arrived on the scene and lightly jogged towards Gordon. 

"What's the situation Jim?"

"Lost child in tattered clothing covered in wounds, could you grab a blanket and some water from the car, please?" The officers nodded and walked off. 

"Are you okay, buddy? Can you tell me your name?" Jim had intense green eyes, but the look on his face was one of worry. Seconds later, two patrol officers would hand Gordon a blanket and some water. He'd first attempt to wrap the kid in the blanket before handing him water.

"My name is Officer James Gordon, I'm here to help you alright? You're safe now."

[Jonathan Crane]

The man standing before him was talking to a lot of others. In his haze Jonathan looked around at all of the commotion that had surrounded him. Officers were talking but he didn’t understand anything that they were saying. Fancy numbers being toted back and forth might have been code for the things they knew he’d done. Somehow, everyone had already known. It didn’t matter anymore, he didn’t have the strength to run again.

The question replayed in his head and it was met with silence. He didn’t know? As assistance came to get him up he wobbled and struggled to get to his feet. The boy was mute among the commotion and the care that was taken toward him. Each touch felt like knives to his skin as gentle as it was. The boy got to his feet but was still silent through the questions.

A blanket came around him and he acknowledged it with a look. His eyes tore from the others for only a moment before he was back staring at him. He wondered what the bus was for and what all of this meant. A lost child. They thought he was lost. Maybe he was. Every question he was asked was just drawing blanks in his mind. Who was he? Not the boy that entered the sewers.

The boy remained silent for several seconds after hearing his name. James Gordon. Tired eyes locked with the older mans. He could give him a fake name, but he doubted that would get very far. Perhaps he could run at some point and find shelter under a bridge. He didn’t have much of a plan and when he thought he was finally caught it didn’t work out either.

“Jonathan.” He mumbled his name finally. “Crane.” The last of it was given, knowing that it would lead to them checking in to where his family was. That would have been very difficult given the circumstances.

“And I’m not safe.”

[James Gordon]

Gordon was still on one knee, doing his best to come to terms with what might have happened to this poor young soul. He knew things like this happened, they warned him about it the Academy. They taught him how to deal with it in the academy, but when you were actually trying to assess a situation such as this? Trying to figure out who could abuse a young child? Gordon felt as if he glossed over the chapter in the textbook that covered this specific sort of encounter. The boy's name was Jonathan, Jonathan Crane. Now that he was standing, he was about face to face with Gordon. "Okay... Jonathan Crane... Well like I said I'm Officer Gordon, but you can call me Jim, alright?" He paused once again, smiling warmly. Gordon hasn't really had any experience with kids, but he and his new wife Barbara were thinking about having kids at some point.

"Is it alright if I call you Jon?" Gordon would now place his hands on the shoulders of Jonathan. Before Jonathan could reply, Gordon's partner officer Wagner would walk up behind Jim. "Hey partner, just finished taking the statement of the woman who placed the call. Apparently they just found him here, decided to call the police. They don't know much else." Gordon removed his hands from the boy and looked behind his shoulder, but only for a moment. "Jon, this is Officer Wagner. Officer Wagner, this is Jon." Wagner flashed a smile and nodded. "Well nice to meet you Jon, if only we met under better circumstances." A flash of concern appeared on Officer Wagner's face since he himself would soon be a father.

Next, Gordon would return his focus to Jonathan. "Can you tell us why you're not safe Jon? What happened to you? Did someone hurt you?" He took a breath before shooting a glance at Officer Wagner again. "Can you have dispatch run that name? Jonathan Crane." Kevin shook his head in approval and walked off. This whole incident seemed to be a mystery already. This kid shows up beaten, bruised, and appearing like he has been tortured with no real clue as to who he is. Jonathan Crane could be a false name, but Gordon still needed to run a check. Since they found him like this it is possible he has no family to return to. Discarded like common rubbish, this young child most likely had nowhere to go. Maybe it was the abuse he ran away from.

"Would you like to go to the police station with me? We can get you something to eat and some fresh clothing. How does that sound?"

[Jonathan Crane]

Jim. A nickname that avoided his real name. The boy stared at him for a long moment when he asked if he could do the same to his own name. It didn’t really matter to him right now. The last person to call him Jon was his mother, and she was dead. He supposed the name being passed on to someone else was the least of his problems at the moment. It may have not been a problem at all. All of his problems had been taken care of in a few hours and with the police not aware of what happened, there was still a chance. At least he thought there was.

After a few seconds of thought he gave a single nod to Jim that he could call him Jon if he wished. He pulled the blanket over his shoulders a little tighter when the other officer approached again. Each minute he felt like he was just waiting for someone to tell him that they knew what happened, but it never came. Officer Wagner sounded sincere, it just didn’t matter. He only offered a blank stare in return for his greeting. This had actually been the best day of his life. Days of his life? How long had he been walking? The circumstances couldn’t have been better.

Another silent stare was offered to him. So many questions. He should have expected that. He’d told him that he wasn’t safe. Shouldn’t that have been enough to know that they needed to leave somewhere? Did he really think he could protect him? The truth was he didn’t need protection, because the threat wasn’t coming for him. The threat had already come. Jonathan Crane wasn’t safe to be around.

“I woke up.” He answered softly. An eerie settle was in the base of the small boy's voice. That was what happened to him and there was very little to say beyond that. He had been hurt, but that was obvious by the scars on his body and the opened wounds from recent lashings. The officer, Jim, could see that for himself. Even if he had to explain it there were no words for why it happened. Half of the time he couldn’t even remember what he did wrong. All he knew was that he was a sinner being punished for his sins and these scars would serve as his reminder. At least that’s what he was told.

He searched Jim’s eyes for a moment with the offer of sanctuary from his thoughts. At the station they could keep him captive until they knew what happened. That would be the final determination. There was no doubt that he needed a change of clothing but something about the thought of food didn’t sit well with him. He needed to eat however. His fingers curled at the blanket around him and pulled it tighter with another nod to him.

The check on his name would have revealed a complicated story. His mother and father’s name would have been present but with no charges from either. It didn’t seem like anything was wrong, except that Jonathan had been truant from school for a short time now. The work had been too heavy and his grandmother stopped allowing it. But her name would not have come up as having custody of him. Clearly, something was happening, but the details were missing. His mother's permanent address was right here in midtown. Not that they would find her there. Eventually, they would have to find the farm and when they did… He could only hope his work had been sufficient enough to keep them guessing.

“Thank you.” He mumbled and finally looked toward the police car he’d seen him get out of. He’d never been in a police car before. “Where am I?” He asked as if he was finally noticing his surroundings for the first time. He was willing to go with him to the station to get out of here at the very least.

[James Gordon]

He woke up, what exactly did that mean? Gordon didn't know, he started to walk towards the radio car while holding Jon's hand. Gordon would grab the radio biscuit on his chest right as he got to the car. "Dispatch, this is Officer Gordon. We have a child, name of Jonathan Crane. Can you put out a call to child services? He's in pretty bad shape, we're gonna need a change of clothes for a ten-year-old boy." Gordon's radio crackled with the sounds of dispatch approving all of his requests. Jon would then ask where he was, that was understandable since he probably wasn't even from around here. It looked as if he could have been traveling on his own for a while. He looked tired more than anything, tired and weak. "Well Jon, you're in Gotham City. Midtown I'd say if you wanna be specific..." Gordon commented, trailing off for a moment before opening the door to the back of the patrol car.

"Okay, I'm going to ride in the back with you, okay? and Officer Wagner will drive us to the station?" This wasn't standard procedure but the boy didn't even know where he was. He had such a hard life up to this point, or at least that would have been Gordon's first guess. He wanted to be there for him, he couldn't help but feel responsible. He picked up the kid he was doing his job. What was going to happen when he was taken back to the station? Go back to his abusive parents? Did he even have parents still out there? What if he went into the system? Gordon was raised to have strong beliefs, the ideals of always doing the right thing were instilled into him by his father. But even his father knew that everyone couldn't be saved.

But maybe Jon was one of the one's that deserved to be saved, he was so young and none of this was his fault. Maybe it was time for him to be happy, to have a normal life. Gordon would help Jon into the car, soon joining him in the back seat. Officer Wagner shot a slightly puzzled look to the back seat, but he understood enough to not say anything. "Karen and Gerald Crane are the parents Jim. Karen has an address here in Midtown." Gordon took a deep breath, getting settled in the back seat. This was the first time he was ever in the back seat of a police car, there really was a first time for everything.

"Let's take him back to the precinct first, then maybe we can go check it out." Officer Wagner nodded, starting the car and began to drive back to the precinct. Gordon would shoot a glance over at Jon for a moment. "You are safe now, Jon. I promise. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" Gordon didn't really know how to talk to him, he has dealt with kids before but never like this. It appeared that Jon would have never even had time to be an actual kid. He couldn't have talked to him about toys, or games or cartoons. Gordon doubted that Jon actually had the chance to do any of that.

He would just do the best he could, trying to give Jon the comfort he deserved.

[Jonathan Crane]

The husk of a child’s attention shifted to the hand that had come to guide his own. Despite staring forward at it he was still listening to everything being said. Strange, the initial touch had just faded away like it never happened. He felt nothing except the small knot of anxiety for exactly what child services being called meant for him. It didn’t matter, in the end he would be found out if they were going to press. Whatever had brought him this far was already going to lose, and each step was a miracle straight out of one of the stories shoved down his throat. Fictional tales of Gods and Demons. A place called hell that was ripe for him now, but he knew there were no monsters waiting for him there. They were already here.

Gotham. He used to live here with his mother. Perhaps that’s why his feet had carried him this way. He couldn’t say he was trying to get here. It had just happened. Still, he had nothing to say to it as the officer opened the back of the police car for him. Isn’t this where the criminals sat? He glanced up at him, letting go of his hand. Fitting. The boy crawled in just as he told him they were going to ride with him. He supposed everyone could be a criminal if they wanted to be.

Hearing their names made his head turn back to the front. That quick. The police knew a lot of information, probably a lot more than he did. He would log that for later, but they still weren’t treating him like he’d done something. They might have known a lot, but they didn’t know enough. Something inside him was keeping him still and calm. They were going to go to the station. Jonathan moved in his seat and wrestled with the belt for a moment. The belt wouldn’t have done much for him. He was a deathly thin child, with depressions in his cheeks. The life had been sucked from him from his skin to the soul in his eyes. What was left was hollow and empty.

They could go to his mother’s or father’s house and he honestly wasn’t sure what they would find. He knew that they wouldn’t find his mother, not there anyway. They’d find that she hadn’t been to work, or seen by her friends. Find that she was missing and that his father didn’t know where she was, if they could even find his father. All they would find would be an empty house, that looked like she just left to go out and never came home.

His attention focused back on the officer that had been so kind to him. He asked him a question, but it took him several long moments of silence to register it. “To make me feel better.” he mumbled just to echo it and see how it sounded to his own ears. What would make him feel better? The thought of food made his stomach turn, even though he knew he was starving. Dry clothes were already on the way. “A book.” He answered finally, the only thing that would come to mind. He’d read everything in his house already and nothing new ever came in.

Safety. No one was ever safe and the promise he'd made to him was a lie.

“What are you going to do with me?” It felt like a grown up question to him. There was so little of his life he seemed to have control of, but something told him all of that was about to change forever.

[James Gordon]

Gordon scratched his head for a moment at the request, the kid wanted a book. It wasn't that odd of a request but it wasn't what he was expecting. They'd get him some food and some clothes at the station when they eventually got there, Officer Wagner liked to read a lot so he might have some sort of book on hand. Whatever it was, chances are it wouldn't be within the appropriate age level for Jonathan. "A book eh?" Gordon liked to read but he didn't really have a lot of time for it, Wagner seemed to make time and Gordon would recall seeing him reading a book at times during their bouts of downtime. "Hey Kevin, you got any books in the car?" Officer Wagner had just stopped at a lighted intersection. He shifted himself so he could look behind him so that he could see Officer Gordon and Jon.

"Uhh... Gotta book about Fritz Haber, not really meant for a kid."

"Fritz Haber? Who is that?"

"Great War Chemist, pioneered the chemical warfare methods during the war."

"Oh yeah... definitely not kid-friendly."

Gordon paused for a moment, he remembered being in the room that was meant for pickups that were young children. There were toys in that room and children's books. Everything from counting books to the most recent Harry Potter novel. "We'll get you a book as soon as we get to the station okay?" Whether or not Jon would agree with what Gordon proposed was up to him, however, the more pressing question of the whole situation was asked by Jon himself.

"What are you going to do with me"

That was a very complicated question with a very complicated answer. Gordon knew the real answer, it was likely they would look for his parents and Gordon wanted to believe that everything that could be done would be done. However Gordon knew the system wasn't always perfect, he knew that Jon would probably end up in a foster family. That didn't sit well with him, none of this sat well with him. What was he supposed to do? He was doing his job, he'd be doing his job and technically that job would end once he dropped Jon off at the station.

"Well Jon... We're going to take you to the station, we're going to get you some fresh clothes, get you something to eat, get you a book. We're going to have some very nice people talk to you about your parents and we're going to do everything in our power to find your parents. Overall we're going to make sure you're safe and protected.. Kevin kept on driving and allowing Gordon to talk to Jon, they were a few minutes out at this point, Gordon would have to find a way to pass the rest of the time.

"You got anything to eat up there, Kevin?"

"Got a 50 cent pack of peanuts, will that work for the kid for now?"

Jim nodded, Kevin would then open the glove box and fish out the pack of peanuts, passing them back to Gordon in the back seat.

"Here Jon, eat these." Gordon would offer the small package of peanuts to Jon. "We have water too if you want it, okay?"

They were small comforts, but Gordon hoped they would be enough for the time being.